I have been trying to be positive and give hope every post, but the truth is that right now I am struggling to know what that is... Hope I mean.
I keep believing that the pain will end, that the memories will eventually hurt less, but no... They just don't.
Physically they kept me safe, but emotionally I am ruined... Why? After 6 years, well 5 years and 5 months I guess... is the pain so fresh?
Guys.... I am going to be okay... I am going to live, and grow and learn and work, but inside... I keep being reborn and then I die again and again, and I never know how long in between, or what will kill me the next time...
Or the next.
I just want to be Okay again.
Someone please understand that I am trying to survive the night...
Please hear me...
OMG... tears just never end.
-Crystal-
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