A lesson I have learned the hard way that I hope you wont have to:
Triggers are good and bad, emotional triggers are by definition:
An Emotional Trigger is a response to a person, situation, event, dialogue, reading, film, or other content providing entity, that provokes a strong emotional reaction. Often we are not self aware when we are triggered, and fall into reacting prior to sifting through our strong emotional response.
-Google definitions-
Sometimes it is a little thing in a movie that makes you cry, and sometimes it is the look someone gives you of utter disapproval, or the punctuation in words that someone used to prove their point, or the way someone tries to prove their superiority every time they see you.
It gets the the point sometimes where a single person being within your general proximity is all it takes to trigger a negative or positive reaction. I have 2 of them, one triggers the good even when he is angry, and the other the bad even when she is happy.
What I mean is, that when I am with my mom, and I try to tell her how well I am doing, I feel like the bad is all she will hear. I love that she wants to take care of me, and all that, but I hate that I have to feel like I am in debt to her and paying it off for the rest of my life. No, I don't "love" her. I feel like she abandoned me, like she gave me up again and again, like she attempted to create a monster out of me. Now that I don't rely on her, or trust her, or even love her she is trying to buy me back. What she does not know is I cant be bought, and I love my sisters more than anyone else in the world, and that blood IS thicker than ink on paper. Memories don't just vanish. And pain can not and will not just disappear. I refuse to feel this way, so I am cutting out the trigger.
Goodbye for now,
-Crystal-
