I will write a book.

Why I am writing this book:

Sometimes I don't know if I can say the words.  I am a rape victim. Sometimes I feel like people know, and they are judging me, but they are strangers.  Some days I feel like I am not worth the breath in my chest, the smile on my lips, or the happiness I find in living.  God is the only one who can calm me in these times, a love so strong that I no longer feel like damaged goods.  A strong, loving, gentle flow of love that heals the ache in the empty space where my virginity once sat.  It took me nearly seven years to get here, but it is time to tell my story.

The Love I Give Infinitely

LOVE

I am in Love.

For the First Time Ever.

We Walk Through Hell, So They Don't Have To.

1/31/2017 I Found The One In God.
You.

2 Plus Us, And Our Life Is Just Starting.
It's going to be hard, but we have God on our Side.

New Poetry

The Rise

-Crystal Brown-

She Prayed that night

For a change in her life

For a new family

To see the light

She prayed alone

And never quite felt home

And she cried for her life

To end that night

She walked alone

Never to go home now

Forever alone here

"I have to fight"

So she got up

And began to rebuild

So she could live her

And be alive

She now prays a new prayer

She wants to be known here

As part of his family

His one true love

Rising.

Living.

Finally.

Loving.

How I feel when he kisses my forehead.
I am in love.

All my values, all my love and all my art!

Falling in Love

When everything seems to have reached its lowest point, and no one seems to see who you are, turn to faith, religion, love, community, people or just tv.  Whatever it is, just don't be alone inside your head.  Just connect to something besides your emotions.  Emotions are tricky little things, but they are not an end all be all, so dont be fooled.  Get up and conect.

Go outside, be around people.  Who knows you might even fall in love.

:)

My stand

I have tried to stay on the fence about this whole Trump thing, but damn it all why is this bigot in office?
I have something to say, and many of you wont want to hear it, and maybe you wont care, but here goes nothing.
April 2nd 2010 something happened that changed my life forever, I was raped, and until about 10 days ago I didn't remember the way it felt to have my screams ripping out of my throat but be unable to hear them at all. I didn't remember the raw chafed feeling in my throat, or the searing headache, or the way my hips protested movement the next day, but now I do.
THIS CANNOT BE REVERSED.
THIS NEVER GOES AWAY.
I WAS RAPED!

I remember it all now.

"Grab 'em by the pussy"
"You can't rape your wife"
These things or President Donald Trump has put out there in the media as a normal thing to say! Wake up America!
This isn't "locker room talk" unless you are in a Prison release party for sexual predators. Consent is NEVER implied, but what is implied is the no. Your daughter is your favorite SEX idol? Wow you creep, and I bet you bathed her at night too!

Your Administration expressed "disappointment" in the protesters, and the men who let their wives and children protest, but President Trump I had to work, but I stand with them.

I am a Nasty Woman, but I am not so Nasty as it may seem.

Breaking my heart

(I tried to ost a icture but it would not post)  This is my baby... Ima miss you boy.... But i cant hurt anymore and idk of i can even look at your daddy without this pain eating me alive. Just know i love you baby dog.  And i wish it wasnt like this, but goodbye baby boy. My best friend. The 1 who knows just when to crawl under the covers and when to clobber me. The only one who loved me when i was deppressed and when i cried. The only one who could stop my anxiety before it started. My criminal minds buddy. Y does this hurt so bad? Because i told you.  I told you to walk away of you were just going to hurt me. I told you i was going to try to hide the pain bit you said you wouldnt.... You ... Said... And yet you lied.
Do u know what this is doning to me? So you even fucking care

**Update: I was never in love with you, and you only wanted sex, so goodbye; because, you no longer hold head space**

I am in love with someone i can never have

I am in love with him... He isnt sure. I could wait. I could.... Forever.
But what if he is never mine?
What if i stand beside his other brides maids or worse in a chair watching him marry someone else?
I love you.
And i am still waiting.
I love you.

**Update: I was stupid to believe that this was love.**